[ A christmas tree next to a bench, red/yellow/green traffic light hanging above. ]
General Tourette’s. [ marches up to the scene bench, looks down, looks up, agitated ] Great Apollo’s Henhouse! Where is everybody? The protest? The students and their liberal intellectual teachers? The Bums! The Homeless! Hippies!!
[voice off stage ]
Cassandra. They’ve moved on!
[ the scene is quiet again, a newspaper drifts on stage, he chases it ]
General Tourette’s. [ reading ] “The City sleeps as Occupy Wall Street moves on.”
[ crushing the paper ]
General Tourette’s. Boxcar Fire-Escape! Moved on?! You can’t just move on! I was sent to restore order to the Park.
[ he bends down to inspect the pavement ]
General Tourette’s. At the height of our powers, even the cracks in the sidewalk get trampled on. The sweet, still yellow lines that divide the street get crossed. Tennis-court Monkeywrench! Their tents might be gone but they left their mark.
[ he radios another general ]
General Tourette’s. Coordinates: Wall Street and Zucrappy Park! The Party’s over! Congress signed the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2012, a bill that will allow for the indefinite detention of American citizens. They Call Me Mellow Yellow kool-aid drinking protesters must have got wind of that and rather than face good old Uncle Sam, “moved on.” They left without a trace. Good, I’m glad we won’t have to pick up their trash.
[ he throws the newspaper to the wind ]
[ he radios again ]
General Tourette’s. Great grey spacemeat! Mobilize the troops. Those fellas are going to need new jobs when they come back from Iraq. I hate to see the look on their faces when they see the shape this place is in. Those Occupiers gotta be somewhere. We’re going mob hunting.
[ with the lights out: end scene ]